You feel. What you feel is too much. It is such a quantity of feeling that you are completely overtaken. And this ‘feeling’ has no name, tag, definition. It takes over you. Strong, omnipotent, all-consuming and unsustainable. You cannot win it. All you can do is wait for it to take its course, leave you exhausted and empty… Oh why can you not remember better days? Why can you not understand? Why are you unable to keep your head up and push through this? Is it the waiter’s game? Are you damned to this non-existent fight for the rest of your days? Moreover, are the rest of your days doomed to be determined by this ‘feeling’? This emotion so complex and overpowering that you know, you know, you cannot conquer? Emotions, feelings… It is so so much… Much too much…
l.a.
